Friday, November 7, 2008

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU’RE ‘GIGGERED’


Beware iCitizens… There’s an individual out there who loves Cheetos - really, really loves them. This individual loves them so much that you can and will actually get ‘touched by a Gigger’ if you get near them…

For those retail establishments who have been graced with this individual’s presence, we provide a emblem for you to post in your window (right-click with your mouse and select print). With this emblem, you can notify your loyal, legal, and Gigger-free customers to be on the lookout for this individual.




There have been encounters noted as of late. One intrepid salesclerk attempted to have the ‘offender’ to leave the retail establishment; they are now sporting an high orange nose as a result. The following depiction is an example of what happens to those who inadvertently crosses the path of this individual (this is not a model’s/actor’s arm, but the area of an arm of someone who was ‘touched by a Gigger’).


Notice the high orange color of the affected area. It took approximately two and a half months for the color to wear off this particular individual and the skin to be renewed to its original state. There is no effective treatment once you’ve been ‘touched by a Gigger’. The only thing that can be done is to buy a spray can of instant tanning solution that will color your entire body to the high orange color of those tasty Cheetos snacks.


We here at iMemphis have been granted the Gigger-free inspection tag (as shown on the right). This is guaranteed to be a safe site and none of our contributors have been ‘touched by a Gigger’.

Carry on; just watch your backs in the local retail establishments…

Monday, October 13, 2008

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Theme Song for the birth of iMemphis

The CACRFC Rap (by LadyDonald)

Ok, here we go -
Cacker-FCeeeeeeeee
dis where my homies beeeeeee
da homies and meeeeee
down at the Cacker-FCeeeeee
Word....

Early in the morn when the CA goes to print
Right befo’ da sun in my eye starts to glint
Wakin’ up just to read and I’m sayin’ WHICH WAY?
Got ta get up on da NET just ta start my day

Got ta open up da thread an take a peek
For it’s da thread about da robbers an the shooters I seek
Lemme see whose bizness is on da thread today
Man beating wifey - did it make it? OTAY..

Dog, there’s the scum bucket preyin’ on da girls
He think he’s slick and tryin’ steal the precious pearls
Let’s get da posse to him and set da scum straight
In da Cacker-FC, this we will not tolerate

Yeah, we live in da city where da fools are gonna be
Actin’ dumb, stupid, an cappin’ folks in da knee
Their 15 minutes winds up on da thread
Where we talk about da foolishness- enough said

Daily on spot, da homies and I read
We always seem ta join up at da Cacker-FC
We don’t fuss or fight, we say our piece an have fun
‘Doggone it, dude went an shot da man wit a gun’

To all da other readers, we wish nothin’ but peace
We jus want da foolishness an stupidity to cease
We know dis ain’t a perfect world at all you see
We’ll hit you up tomorrow at the Cacker-FC

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Join the club!!!

For all the fans of the CA Crime Report-

http://www.cafepress.com/cacrfc

Get yours today and wear them proudly in our rival city.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Say Hello to Isabella...


Isabella's Home

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Grand Opening of iHealth Hospital of iMemphis

All iMemphians will have a new choice for their health care beginning Friday, 22 Aug 08. iHealth Hospital of iMemphis will celebrate their grand opening - all are invited to attend the celebration of this state-of-the art modern facility.

Visit our new site
Hello everyone.......I've been busy since ischool started this week. I've been really busy monitoring all activities either by visits to schools or by the security monitors in my office. (LOL!)

I will try to peep in and blog any chance I get so that I can keep you all up on what is going on in ischool.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

New link...

The iTreasury and iDepartment of Veterans Affairs blog is now open for business...

The link is listed to the right under iGovernment Links.

;o)

:o)


Thursday, August 7, 2008

iMemphis is growing!







Yes iCitizens, iMemphis is growing.




iMemphis being the first site created is now going to serve as our iWelcome Center. Very soon we will begin construction on our various government offices, more restaurants, shops, parks, tourist attractions, etc.




Enjoy all of iMemphis, because unlike the real world Memphis we do not tolerate corrupt government, thugs with drugs, nor crime of any type.










Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Below is the blog that started our iTown!!





Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 8:55 a.m.
Mayor Pippin is doing an excellent job in this despicable city!
Way to go citizens!!
:o)

Posted by tiger4life on August 6, 2008 at 9:07 a.m.
Wally should have used a bike....Rubin Whittaker would make a good candidate for Chief Robi's new police force......

Posted by tiger4life on August 6, 2008 at 9:15 a.m.
Chief Robi, did you notice that 2 of your responses (in 2 seperate artiles, yesterday) were censored by the Thought Police....Makes one wonder if Chief GODwin is not up to his old tricks, you know, monitoring the Virtual World.....

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 9:20 a.m.
Tiger - I'm going to have Carlye type up an offer of employment as soon as she checks in!

Ladydonald - As soon as Mayor Pippin signs in and reads your message I'm sure a parade will be scheduled to honor Rubin Whittaker.
Wally is DESPICABLE!

:o)

ps:Rumor has it we are going to need a new judge soon to handle all of the thug vs citizen cases that are sure to crop up.

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 9:23 a.m.
Tiger - I hadn't noticed. The important people got to read them before though, I'm sure.
:o)

Posted by DoggieDaddy on August 6, 2008 at 9:25 a.m.
Thanks, chantigger. I was missing while on vacation. Maybe that's zoogie's excuse too.

And if Wally sues, I think they should just hit him again.

Posted by ladydonald on August 6, 2008 at 9:27 a.m.
Chief Robi,
Don't forget to forward the opening for the judge to Mayor Pippin's new press secretary, alphaman06. He was selected last evening to fill the post.
I agree with the Tiger...

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 9:32 a.m.
Great idea Tiger!
:o)

Posted by chantigger on August 6, 2008 at 9:32 a.m.
I read Chief Robi's comments and can't for the life of me figure out why they were censored. Robi isn't one who makes a habit of saying controversial things.
Depends on the mood of the moderator, I guess.

Posted by ladydonald on August 6, 2008 at 9:34 a.m.
It was FUBAR...

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 9:38 a.m.
Honesty and integrety come into play. I believe that's why I was voted into the office of chief of police.
:o)

PS As a public figure, I have thick skin too.

Posted by jman on August 6, 2008 at 9:40 a.m.
Citizens arrest, Citizens arrest! Kill the THUGS!!!

Posted by Carlye on August 6, 2008 at 9:52 a.m.
Hey folks... sorry I'm late!! Look at all I've missed this morning!

Posted by Carlye on August 6, 2008 at 9:54 a.m.
Which comments were deleted, Robi? The only ones I can imagine were the jokes... which I personally thought were funny! I even told ONE of them last night as I am not good at remembering punch lines.... :)

Posted by Carlye on August 6, 2008 at 9:56 a.m.
Oh and I'll get on that letter for you Tiger.. :)

Posted by vidpsyke on August 6, 2008 at 9:58 a.m.
"Elliott, who has a history of arrests DATING TO 1985, is scheduled for a video arraignment Thursday."
Perhaps it is time to consider a "Three Strikes" law in Tennessee? The threat of a MANDATORY 25 years to life sentence, would be a strong deterrent to repeat offenders of petty crimes.

Posted by Carlye on August 6, 2008 at 10:16 a.m.
Glad somebody got a 'leg up' on him before he could do this again....
We need Zoogie!!!
*Carlye chants*
Zoogie, Zoogie, Zoogie....

Posted by chantigger on August 6, 2008 at 10:16 a.m.
Mayor Pippin- I propose that MisterT80, Zoogie, Doggie, and Bubba be placed on the city's new moral boosting committee.
Any seconds?

Posted by ladydonald on August 6, 2008 at 10:20 a.m.
I second or third; whichever is applicable...

Posted by tiger4life on August 6, 2008 at 10:28 a.m.
Carlye, in reviewing the deleted comments made by Chief Robi, I think your assumption is correct - The Thought/Humor Police did censor Robi's joke - Which begs the questions, Are the Dark Clouds of Memphis Politics covering up the Sunshine in Virtual World, and is Sealed Litigation on our Virtual Doorstep (?!).......

Posted by BUBBADUCK on August 6, 2008 at 10:28 a.m.
Chant, you're a natural for public relations and marketing. How about it, Mayor Pippin ?

Posted by tiger4life on August 6, 2008 at 10:32 a.m.
I'll third or fourth; whichever is applicable :-)....

Posted by Carlye on August 6, 2008 at 10:34 a.m.
Well, at least Robi only got sensored and not banned....
I couldn't face a day without the infamous 'despicable'.
I tried, remember?
:)

Posted by Carlye on August 6, 2008 at 10:36 a.m.
And for all you vacationers who are regulars to the CA blogging... this is the highlight of my oh-so-dull work day, so I suggest you find a computer at your hotels or take your laptop so you can log on and blog with us.
Or at least warn us you're going on vacation... :) We definitely miss you when you're gone!!!! Right, Chantigger, Robitron and everyone else?! :)

Posted by DoggieDaddy on August 6, 2008 at 10:39 a.m.
Chantigger: That would be "morale." I've never been accused of boosting anyone's morals. ;-)

Posted by chantigger on August 6, 2008 at 10:40 a.m.
Carlye- I like that idea.
It makes my day to share thoughts/jokes/ideas with so many of you!!!
I'll help you conjure Zoogie.
*chanting*
Zoogie, zoogie, zoogie...

Posted by chantigger on August 6, 2008 at 10:41 a.m.
Daddie- you are so correct. I will ask for some leeway, as my head is about to split open. I hate headaches and wish I didn't get them as often as I do...
It is morale, not moral. Especially for you. ;)

Posted by Carlye on August 6, 2008 at 10:43 a.m.
I don't know Doggie... alot of city and county employees could use a moral boost, too... lol.

Posted by MisterT80 on August 6, 2008 at 10:44 a.m.
I'm honored by the nomination to the committee, although i would warn against creating new political position and appointing your buddies to those newly created offices....isn't that sort of thing what you are trying to get away from in "iMemphis".

Posted by chantigger on August 6, 2008 at 10:48 a.m.
MisterT- but this is not a frivolous position for which you are not qualified. "iMemphis" (I love that, btw) needs to have better morale among it's citizens, and as a taxpayer, I am willing to pay for such a thing if it is run by quality individuals such as yourself and the others nominated.

Besides, when we clear city hall of all the King Taterhead cronies, we'll have plenty of money to pay for things we need!

Posted by ladydonald on August 6, 2008 at 11:16 a.m.
Update from the iMemphis Treasury:
Today's exchange rate for our iMemphis Monopoly money is $1 to $15K euros (yesterday's rate was $10K euros).
As long as the gas prices continue to go down, our Monopoly money will continue to gain ground and beat the inflationary pressures that are being placed on our virtual society.

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 11:47 a.m.
Whew! Maybe I shouldn't have gone to two back to back meetings! Look at all I've missed.
I love the iMemphis name too. I make a motion we keep it.
Carlye - It was me that wanted you to draft a job proposal for Mr. Rubin Whittaker and Mr. Anthony Williams to join the iMPD.
Thanks.
:o)

Posted by chantigger on August 6, 2008 at 11:52 a.m.
Chief Robi- or should that be iChief Robi? I second the motion to keep the name iMemphis!
What does our iMayor think? And our iCitizens?

Posted by Carlye on August 6, 2008 at 12:02 p.m.
I'm on it, Robi and welcome back!!! Job offers?

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 12:08 p.m.
Nope. I sure hope this iJob pays in real money!
:o

Posted by wyzard on August 6, 2008 at 12:08 p.m.
Personally, I vote for public executions to be held at noon Saturdays at Tom Lee park. All executions to be carried out within 14 days of convictions for repeaters of violent crimes. The corpses could then be weighted down and dropped into the river for disposal. It might not work as a deterent to violent crimes, but it sure as hell will prevent THAT thug from committing any more. imayor Pippen, implore you to put that before the proper committies to get that into motion for approval. ichief Robi can hold a lotterey to see which victim gets the privilege of throwing the switch, or pulling the lever.

Posted by chantigger on August 6, 2008 at 12:23 p.m.
Wyzard- I motion that you be in charge of the iJail. You will report directly to iChief Robi.
However, I have a slight problem with something you suggest. There will be no REPEAT offenders of VIOLENT crimes in iMemphis. Once convicted the first time, that's it. No second chances.
And eventually, we will not have crime, as we are going to be very intolerant.

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 12:24 p.m.
Sorry iCitizen wyzard... I'm really busy putting together a proposal to make 201 iPoplar a lot less comfortable for the thugs.
:o)

Posted by wyzard on August 6, 2008 at 12:31 p.m.
Chant, I say "repeat" because I believe everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. People can be falsely accused and wrongfully convicted, unless the evidence against them is strong enough. If the perp is caught red-handed, once is enough, and take them to Tom Lee park for a noon picnic in their honor.
ichief, if there is anything i can do to help, send me an imemo, and i will get right on it.

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 12:37 p.m.
I second the motion to make iCitizen Wyzard our iJailer.
All in favor?
:o)

Posted by chantigger on August 6, 2008 at 12:58 p.m.
Well, in iMemphis, a conviction will only happen if they are found guilty without a doubt. There will be no silly loopholes like there are now. Common sense will be used to convict.
My vote is aye!
We need an iMemphis site where we can keep up with all of this. How fun it would be!

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 1:04 p.m.
Yay us! We have an iJailer now!
Welcome iJailer Wyzard!

iMemo to iJailer Wyzard:

Please REMOVE all TV's from the iJail cells immediately.
They will be distributed to the iCitizens of iMemphis that are in need.
Thank you,
iChief Robi
:o)

Posted by wyzard on August 6, 2008 at 1:22 p.m.
ty all, The TV's will be removed immediately, as well as all ithermoatats will be set no lower then 85 degrees to conserve on ielectricity. iwork details will began at 5am every morning, with icrops being planted first thing in the ispring, to offset the costs of feeding the iprisoners. I hope to have canvas tents to set up soon to house the iprisoners, as they do not deserve to be comfortable during their stay here. The ijail can then be sold with the profits going to offset some other expenses in our icity.

Posted by songbird2003diva on August 6, 2008 at 1:26 p.m.
I want in. Where do I report for iduty?

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 1:29 p.m.
What iPosition would you like to apply for songbird?
:o)

Posted by songbird2003diva on August 6, 2008 at 1:31 p.m.
Oh please, please assign me to iMCS as BS iMonitor . I could monitor all proceedings, etc to be sure that there will be no BS allowed in any part of any iMCS school, iMCS board meeting, etc. Oh wait...I will probably need a FULL istaff for that. That is a HUGE job. Any takers?

Posted by chantigger on August 6, 2008 at 1:37 p.m.
Songbird- what are your qualifications?

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 1:42 p.m.
Hey guys and gals....
I have a surprise for you...........
http://imemphis.blogspot.com
:o)

Posted by chantigger on August 6, 2008 at 1:48 p.m.
iChief Robi- that is frickin' fantastic!!! ROFLMAO...

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 1:49 p.m.
Yay us!
:o)

Posted by wyzard on August 6, 2008 at 1:52 p.m.
ichief Robi, thats perfect!! LMAO!

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 1:57 p.m.
All iOfficials, please reply to the iCitizens post with a brief introduction.
Thanks,
iChief Robi
:o)

Posted by bporlando on August 6, 2008 at 1:59 p.m.
Robi - that is tres cool!

Posted by chantigger on August 6, 2008 at 1:59 p.m.
iChief Robi- I don't know what my iPosition is. :(

Posted by songbird2003diva on August 6, 2008 at 2:09 p.m.
chantigger,Below are my qualifications:
I have 35+ years of 100% successful zero tolerance of BS by raising 2 girls and one boy successfully into adulthood with zero problems....raised one boy and girl as a single mother. I have zero tolerance of BS with family members, church members, preachers, employers, employees, friends, politicans, naysayers, beaurocrats, childrens' friends, ex-husband, ex-boyfriends, cashiers, waiters, waitresses, parking attendants, etc....need I go on?
Been trying to post this since you asked, but the site kept acting stupid...of which I will not tolerate that either.

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 2:10 p.m.
Isn't it iSecretary to iMayor Pippin?

Carlye is mine.

ladydonald is our iTreasurer...

:o)

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 2:12 p.m.
I make the motion songbird be iMCS Super!
:o)

Posted by MisterT80 on August 6, 2008 at 2:13 p.m.
i didnt intended for it to catch on that quickly...i feel i have started a horrible itrend that will not soon out live...
...actually, now that i think about it...maybe we can get Steve Jobs to purchase our iPyramid? i actually might not feel so bad if it were plastered with a giant Apple Logo ?!?!?!?! hhhhmmmmmm

Posted by chantigger on August 6, 2008 at 2:18 p.m.
I think songbird is immensely qualified to be iSuperintendent. That would negate the need for an iBS monitor, as there would be no BS.
I second the motion.
Now, obviously we need an iNewspaper with iEditor.
iChief Robi- iSecretary to the iMayor? Done. Love to.

Posted by robitron on August 6, 2008 at 2:24 p.m.
And so our iTown is founded!
iMayor Pippin is gonna be so proud!

:o)

Welcome iCitizens!